Yes, you!

In the February Harvard Business Review, Campbell, et. al. wrote an article entitled, "Why Good Leaders Make Bad Decisions." Their premise is that we are all set up (neurologically - we just can't help it) to be swayed by often-unrecognized biases. Couldn't have said it better myself! The key point here is not that we shouldn't be swayed (remember - we just can't help it). Rather it is that we need to have ways to recognize our biases and their source so as to make the best possible decision.

Recently, I coached one of my clients about the extent of his responsibility/duty to his clients regarding advocacy. It seems this client is in the final phase of merging with another firm. However, there is an open issue about funds that haven't been released to his clients and, when he leaves, he will no longer have the ability to do anything to help his clients. So he is stuck for as long as it takes because of his emotional ties. Does he go ahead with the merger? Does he wait, possibly as long as a year, so he can remain in a position to step in if necessary to help his clients resolve this? There is no one answer that would be universally right in such a situation. It seems that either way, he will lose something that is important to him.

In exploring this together, my client came to realize the emotional "hook" of both choices! He was hooked by his beliefs that he had promised to "take care of his clients needs no matter what" and that by merging with the other firm, "all [his] stress with his work would be resolved and he would be free." Once those beliefs were revealed, he could explore them more rationally and discern what was true. In fact, he came to realize that he isn't obligated to the extent that he couldn't make the best business choice (in merging) for himself and his clients, nor will merging provide him with all the freedom he is imagining. From this more objective perspective, he could begin by identifying his ideal outcome for all concerned and work toward creating that.

Reality is, well, reality. It is as it is. The more conscious we are of our underlying motivations in decision making, the clearer and more effective our decisions will be. Bias is always lurking. We can't help but see things through our own filters of self-interest, skewed observations and false interpretations. The key is to know that is always in play, to notice it and then to step back to a more rational view.

One of my teachers, Dr. Roy Whitten, once said to me when I was up to my ears in things to do and couldn't see my way out, "You can do any of it; you just can't do all of it."

That was one of the most helpful one-liners I've heard. When I'm in the midst of it, I look around and other people seem to be handling their lives better than I am. What's wrong with me? When I'm overwhelmed and simply can't do it all, it's easy for me to think 'I'm incapable.' And believing that certainly doesn't help me handle things better! So when Roy gave me that bit of wisdom, I got it. I am capable. I overcommitted. I simply have too much to do. With those beliefs in place, I can begin to work my way out.

In my webinar presentation on March 6th, I shared The 5 Ds as a simple, yet elegant, process for making realistic commitments. I hope this model is useful for you:

DELETE: When an opportunity comes your way, before committing ask yourself: "Does this really need to be done?" This step requires that you are clear about your priorities and you know what will best serve those priorities.

DELEGATE: If the answer to the first question is 'yes,' then ask yourself "Is it only mine to do?" It may be the the whole task can be passed on to someone else (staff, family, outsourced) or perhaps there are some pieces that someone else could do.

DO IT: If the answer to the second question is 'yes,' then ask yourself "Can I do it right now?" If it's it needs to be done and is only yours to do, you may be able to just get it done. Sign that check. Answer that email. And get on with it.

DATE IT: If the answer to the third question is 'no,' that means it's time to open your schedule and carve out the time to complete it. What? Not enough time open in your schedule? Hmmm. Maybe it's time to relook at the first question again.

DISCIPLINE: Now comes the most difficult question: "Will I give my word and keep it?" Without this piece in place, you will continue to find yourself over-committed and overwhelmed.

This process works well for addressing and eliminating your 'to do' list. Even better, it's a model to follow when you are asked to take something on. When you use it, those tasks never find their way to your list. You have deleted, delegated, done or dated it before it got that far! Pretty slick, wouldn't you say? I invite you to visit my blog on sharonhoover.com for more.

With clients, until the upset is fully heard they have no ears. This is not to say, of course, that they need to be agreed with. They really just need someone they trust - and hopefully that’s you - to hang in with them and give them the time and space to say what’s on their minds. Some of what they say will not make sense to you. Some of it may even be outlandish and irrational. That doesn’t matter. You can be most effective if you simply listen and acknowledge “message received.”

Today I hit the wall! It brought on a level of overwhelm I don't often feel. It had its way with me and I didn't much like it.

I'm launching my business into a bigger presence on the internet and I'm not of the generation that has cut it's teeth on this stuff. I know the jargon (well, some of it) and I've always thought of myself as a quick study. That's not my experience with this project, however. It's slow, confusing, frustrating. You can see where this is going - right to the core of my self image. The internal dialogue (mindtalk) was in full swing: "You can't learn this stuff. It's all gotten beyond you. You'll never catch up. It's hopeless. You're hopeless." Egads! As I considered each of those difficult self-judgments, I knew they are all false. What was true is that I have found myself . . . no, I have put myself on the threshold of setting up two blogs, three social networking sites, an offer of a free special report "Say No Without Guilt" and writing an ebook. The technology for each piece as well as how it all fits together is beyond my knowledge base and experience.

No longer am I hanging out in overwhelm. Since I don't like it much, I spend as little of my precious life energy there as possible. After getting rid of my self-defeating internal chatter, my strategy was to bring my focus to what is most important and to create a cohesive big picture into which all these parts could fit. Once my purpose - to inspire, encourage and inform - was clear in my mind, I could see where I needed information and guidance. My coach led me to see how each part linked (literally and figuratively) into another and the "wall" actually became a door. I could see my way forward.

When you hit the wall, and overwhelm is having its way with you, what is your best strategy? Please share your comments by clicking on the "comments" button below.

Just today, one of my advisor clients said during our coaching call, "Hope is not an investment strategy." Things were hard enough last fall; now they are even harder. More clients are clamboring for attention. Staff is over-wrought. Everyone is cutting back. In this environment, hope can begin to run thin and it just doesn't suffice as a foundation for making the best decisions. he was beginning to lose hope.

It is absolutely normal to have doubts. No one knows for sure when the market will make a real turnaround and advisors are hanging on the best they can. Hanging onto hope gets more and more difficult. As the owner of your firm, you do your best to present a positive attitude, encouraging both staff and clients alike. Inside, you may not be feeling so sure.

One of the best things you can do for yourself and your staff is to get real with each other. Just having the opportunity to talk about your fears, unfounded or not, relieves the pressure of holding all of that back and pretending you're feeling just fine. If you truly are, that's OK. If you aren't, that's OK. We all have our constant internal chatter to keep us company and some of what it says to us is downright scary! Much of it is false, of course. Until we let it out by talking with someone else, it stays inside roiling around and creating more and more pressure for us.

So bring your staff together and talk about your fears and concerns. Saying it aloud takes the pressure off so you can get yourself grounded again. When this client talked with me about his doubts and fears, I could hear and feel his mood lighten. He could then talk about the reality as he sees it, focus on where he has control and how he can take action that will have a positive impact.

Get real with yourself and your staff. They will thank you for it.

Sometimes we think, "It will only take a few minutes and then I'll get back to what I was working on." The thing is, whenever we are pulled away from a task, it takes far longer to get back in the groove and up to the level of productivity we were enjoying than the actual amount of time we spent on that interruption.

On Friday, I spoke with an advisor client in California who made another small yet significant shift in how he is managing during this time of hightened stress and overwhelm. Instead of taking client calls as they come, he has set aside two call-back blocks of time in his schedule - one just before lunch and the other at the end of his work day.

He reaps several advantages by doing this. He can cut down dramatically on the number of interruptions he receives throughout the day. This single step in streamlining his daily workflow will add time for him to complete those Important/Not (Yet) Urgent projects and tasks. Clients will get to speak with him that same day and will know they are being well taken care of. They will also begin to learn not to expect to speak with him immediately every time they call. If that's your clients' expectation, it only means you've taught them well! And this provides his administrative assistant with a proactive way to respond to client calls. Instead of, "He's out of the office," (when perhaps he really isn't), he can say instead, "Tom will be returning calls today between 11:30 and 12:00 and again between 4:00 and 5:00. Which time would work best for you?" Instead of the message that he isn't available, the client gets the message that he is, indeed, available and when.

Some of the ways you can best support yourself are not just simple, they're easy!

In today's webinar,"Overwhelmed by the Financial Crisis: How Advisors Can Manage Themselves and Others,"I offered a list of references. I hope this is helpful.

Publications

• "The Good Side of Stress," by Mary Carmichael, Newsweek, 02.23.09
• Getting Things Done by David Allen
• First, Break All the Rules by Buckinham & Coffman
• Why Employees Don't Do What They're Supposed to Do and What To Do About It by Ferdinand Fournier

Training

• More To Life, www.moretolife.org

Find a Coach

• International Coach Federation www.internationalcoachfederation.com
• International Association of Coaches www.certifiedcoach.org

In the presentation, I talked about the value of working with a coach. There are some important criteria to consider since this is a close professional relationship and you want to be sure that you find the right coach for you. Here are some guidelines you can use to help you:

Coach Selection Tips from ICF

1. Educate yourself about coaching. (Thousands of articles have been written about it in the last three to five years. The ICF Research Portal also hosts coaching research articles, case studies, journals, etc.)

2. Know your objectives for working with a coach.

3. Interview three coaches before you decide on one. Ask each about his or her experience, qualifications, skills, and ask for at least two references.

4. Remember, coaching is an important relationship. There should be a connection between you and the coach that "feels" right to you.

Questions to Ask a Prospective Coach

Beyond choosing an ICF Credentialed coach, the most important aspect to consider when selecting a coach is finding someone with whom you can easily relate and create the most powerful partnership. ICF recommends the following questions to ask prospective coaches:

· What is your coaching experience (number of individuals coached, years of experience, types of coaching situations)?

· What is your coach-specific training (enrolled in an ICF approved training program, other coach-specific training, etc.)?

· What is your coaching specialty or areas in which you most often work?

· What specialized skill or experience do you bring to your coaching?

· What is your philosophy about coaching?

· What is your specific process for coaching (how sessions are conducted, frequency, etc.)?

· What are some coaching success stories (specific examples of individuals who have succeeded as a result of coaching/how the coach has added value)?

If you were on the webinar call today, thank you for participating. Overwhelm in the face of our current economic situation is something we can do something about. If you missed the presentation, it is available on this blog site.

For years I've heard about the book, "Sacred Cows Make the Best Burgers," by Kriegel and Brandt, that came out in 1996.  It could be easy for me to pass it off as an out-moded idea.  After all, that was 13 years ago!  Or, I could get that the essence of their message is that every organization (yes, even yours) is attached to ways of doing things that no longer serve the best interests of the company.  What underlies "the way we do things around here" is a set of assumptions and those assumptions drive our behaviors without our even being aware of it.  This also happens on an individual and personal leve, but as a friend of mine says, "That's another show for Oprah.

The authors' definition of a Sacred Cow as related to business is, "An outmoded belief, assumption, practice, policy, system, or startegy, generally invisible, tht inhibits change and prevents responsiveness to new opportunities."

A couple weeks ago one of my clients, a financial planner & investment advisor, guided his leadership team through the process of identifying their Sacred Cows and here's what he reported back to me.  "We found that just about everything we do is a Sacred Cow!"  Some of those underlying assumptions included: 

• We need to at least offer a plan update annually to every client.
• Every client gets an individually customized investment portfolio.
• We need to educate all of our clients on everything.

They are just at the beginning of this process and already see that by making just one or two key changes - supported by new underlying assumptions - they can regain about 9% of their professional time.  This could be the time for you to begin to uncover your Sacred Cows. 

Ever notice that sometimes you stop breathing?  The more scary information we read and hear, the more often we catch our breath and hold it in as if defending ourselves from an imagined onslaught.  That information is just going to keep coming at us from the newspaper, CNN, clients, family members, friends.  The list goes on.  Our part is in discerning what information is helpful to us, keeping us informed so that we can respond by taking the most appropriate actions.  Anything more than that simply adds to our worry and downright fear about the current situation and what may be coming in the future.  When we don't apply appropriate filters, all that information is overwhelming.  It's news.  It won't stop.  But we can!

So pay attention to how you are really reacting to all of this.  Your body will not lie.  Your muscles will tense.  Your breathing will stop or become shallow.  Pay attention to those cues as they are the door to your way out.  Notice, then take three conscious breaths - slowly and intentionally - allowing the tension to ease as you breathe it out.  Now you have some space in which to relax and bring your best self forward. 

Just today in a session with one of my financial planner/investment advisor coaching clients, she talked about the "curse" of responsibility.  You may have some notion of what she meant.  I sure did.  Most of us grew up being taught that being responsible was a good and noble thing, something we should develop and endeavor to use.  In fact, I daresay that people in the financial services industry come with a pretty large dose of it. 

Just as with every positive quality we have though, when taken to extreme, it's a liability.  In the face of our current market situation, it is even more important to be able to discern the difference between what you are responsible for and what is not in your domain.  You are responsible for how you communicate with your clients, the expertise you bring about this current economic situation and your investment philosophy.  You are not responsible for their losses.  You are responsible for keeping up with the situation and responding creatively.  You are not responsible for their stress about it.

When you can differentiate what you can control or influence from what you cannot, then you can invest your energy and your time where it will truly make a difference.  The rest is out of your hands.